I am thinking back tonight to the first night I saw your sweet face. Photography is an amazing thing because I have this photo that your auntie took of the first time I saw you. Its so good that I have this photo to keep forever, because I don't know if I remember all that was going through my head at that exact moment. I do know that It seemed like forever waiting for you. I wanted to get to know you. Since I am a photographer I am a visual person, you will learn that about your momma. I like to see things, feel them, explore. This is how I learn. So when the amazing nurses that helped me bring you into this world laid you on my chest for the first time, it was the most overwhelming feeling. That is what I do remember, being overwhelmed. I was overcome with joy, excitement, relief, exhaustion. I think in that moment my instincts kicked in as well. I looked you over to make sure you were okay. Did you know that you didn't cry when you were first born? You were so inquisitive. You had your beautiful eyes wide open but you were silent. You were staring right at me which made me cry so hard because I had been thinking about what this day would be like for some time. I think I remember saying to myself "two eyes, a nose, two ears, two legs, toes, two arms and hands, fingers" I think this is something all mothers do? We are so careful and afraid when we are carrying babies in our belly. I was so careful to make sure I only did the best things so you could grow into the most healthy baby. I will cherish this photo forever because you are my first baby. I was 24 years old in this photo, I had just become a mommy a few seconds before this moment was frozen in time. I remember the anticipation when the doctors and nurses told me we were going to have a baby that day. I was so eager for you to arrive before Christmas so we could celebrate and show you off to all your family. Silly mommy, I was so aggravated that my body wasn't going into labor, in my mind you had to come before Christmas. So when we were admitted to the hospital it felt like a dream come true "I am finally going to see my baby's face" I thought to myself. I looked over at your daddy and said with tears in my eyes, a slight feeling of fear and nervousness in my voice "Honey, we are going to have a baby today, we are going to see our baby boy." He smiled at me with his calm demeanor like he always does "Yes honey, we are." This photo seems like just yesterday. I can't believe time is flying by so fast. Look at you now, you can sit up, crawl, pull yourself to standing by furniture, you can say "Dada," you have things you like and things you don't. Sometimes you are stubborn and determined like me but most times you are even tempered and easy going like your daddy. You love exploring like we do, you love food and trying new things. That first day of your life, even though my dream had come true, I still didn't know how amazing you truly would be. Maybe I still don't even know. Things are going to keep changing, you will continue to learn and grown and here I will be clicking away documenting every moment I can. Sometimes your daddy and I look at each other and go "Oh my goodness look at our baby, he is so big" Sometimes in the evening when you have fallen asleep in one of our laps or right between us in our bed, we look at each other and smile, we don't even need to say a word because we already know what the other is thinking. We just love you so much baby boy. -Alexa-
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